My Current Situation
My life has been rather interesting lately. I kinda like some of it, but for the most part I wish it was different. I think I might have mentioned it on here before, but I obviously am not at Emmanuel this semester, nor will I be there this coming spring semester. Though I definitely plan on going back next Fall, in 2012. Around mid May I found out that I couldn’t come back to EC, because of academic stuff, and I would have to take a year off. I started off upset and then I got a lil better about the situation. I have been taking two classes at the local tech college and also still plan to do an internship in the spring.
As of lately I’ve had really mixed emotions concerning this current situation of mine. I still believe that this is a time that God wants me to grow in, and I believe that this is part of His will for me and my life. So with that I have been trying to continuously seek Him daily. I have been praying for Him to show me what my purpose is and what direction He wants me to go full speed towards.
Also, one thing that really has sucked this year is not being able to see Anna Barbara every day. It is crazy going from seeing the person you love the most everyday when at school, and now she’s at school while I’m stuck at home and can’t see each other. It really makes me feel more lonely and lost. I definitely agree with the saying “home is where the heart is”, because I feel so much different and filled with so much joy and peace when I’m with her. It really sucks not being with her, it’s like half of me is missing. It really hurts being so far away from the one you love. I mean, yes, we can go see each other; she came down a few weeks ago, and I’m going to see her this coming weekend, but still, it really sucks. I’ve never experienced long distance relationship this intense, and I don’t like the distance at all, but I know we can and are doing it. If I could I would go see her every weekend, I would find a way to stay up there and see her everyday, but I don’t have the money for all that. I’m rather excited though that when I do my internship in the spring, I will be a lot closer to her. I can’t wait until when we’re together and able to see each other every day. I also definitely can’t wait until we’re married and together forever. It excites me so much thinking about that.
Another thing that has definitely been bothering me in this current situation is the amount of free time I have. I know it sounds crazy, but I miss how busy I was when at school. Things that have come along from me having so much free time are boredom, secluding myself in a sense, and not being as productive as I should. Since I am only taking two classes at tech, I have so much extra time during the week. As far as not being productive as I should, I will have all this time and think I can get things done but then I end up not doing everything I should have because I had too much time. I’ve realized that since I graduated in 2008 I have lost closeness with a good bit of friends who live around here. Because of that, there are only a few people I will hangout with on occasions.
Something that goes along with the free time situation and that really bothers me about this situation is I kind of feel like I’ve been spending too much time with my family, and hardly any at all with others. Don’t get me wrong, I do love my family, but almost every time I’ve gone somewhere out of town in the past month or two, besides going to school, I have been with my parents. It kinda makes me feel like I’m not as old as I really am and adds to the act of me unintentionally secluding myself from others.
Anyways, that is what is on my mind right now. I’m really hoping this situation gets better, and time goes by quickly for when I get to do my internship, see Anna Barbara, and be back at Emmanuel.
